She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize