so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
