Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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