i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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