Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
