no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
