Whod you bang
I'm gonna have a badass scar
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
