Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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