Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
