I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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