So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
