You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
