well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize