We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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