I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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