Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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