Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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