she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Randomize
