i jhust puked up my retainher.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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