Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Two words: blizzard sex
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
