Ambien. No doubt about it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
