belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize