Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
