careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
