he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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