So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
