there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hippo gnu deer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
