If i come over, it means nothing
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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