Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
