ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize