I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
