They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
