R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
