I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize