Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
