just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
