his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
