how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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