he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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