i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
