Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
