my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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