I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
