No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
