rhymes with "ouble enetration"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
