I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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