i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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