There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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