drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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