this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
