Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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