I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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