Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
