if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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