I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
