omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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