I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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